Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
