Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
