I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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