Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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