is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
is wine microwaveable?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
