I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
