If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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