I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
A+ Viking dick
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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