The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
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