I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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