sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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