Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
