Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
