If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
