Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
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Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
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Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize