Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
