Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
