dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
