yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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