thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
