Only a mothe r could love this liver
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
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I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
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I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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