mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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