I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
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