I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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