is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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