5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
