guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
