Hey man sorry I got all grabby
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
