a queef is a wish your heart makes.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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