my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
The air was thick with penises
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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