I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Randomize
