we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
