that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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