the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
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Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
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Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
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