Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Randomize
