Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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