mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
