No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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