im gay
i know
yea but for you.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
