i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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