at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
