Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
