i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
