he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize