I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
