Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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