singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
