He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Randomize
