There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize