Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I will be naked everywhere
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
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