I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
