Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
