doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
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