we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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