is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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