I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
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i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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