Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
