Porn is love you can see.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
