dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Princesses don't give blow jobs
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
you inspire me to be a worse person
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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