Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
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