Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize